CARELESS UNIVERSITY
Apply Badly
NS
University Dean
“Not Steve”
Office hours: absolutely not.
Est. some time ago · Accreditation pending indefinitely
DEGREES IN DUMB.
Higher education. Lower standards. A proud institution for students with ambition, poor impulse control, and tuition to burn.
0%Acceptance standards
100%Tuition in regret
∞Bad decisions
Academic programs
Choose your major mistake.
Our curriculum is rigorously unreviewed, professionally questionable, and designed around skills no responsible employer requested.
CU 101✦
Fundamentals of Poor Judgment
An introductory survey of decisions made confidently, quickly, and without supporting evidence.
Core failure→
CU 204✂
Applied Devastation
Break it so thoroughly that nobody asks you to fix it. Includes supervised wreckage lab.
Lab fee applies→
CU 310⌁
Professional Ransom Scripting
Advanced persuasive writing for situations where normal customer service has already failed.
Signature course→
CU 404?
Strategic Cluelessness
Turn missing information into executive presence. Prerequisite: refusal to read the email.
Prereq waived→
CU 451♨
Fire in the Hands
A practical exploration of hot consequences, and why the waiver had twelve pages.
Safety optional→
CU 499★
Capstone in Regret
Combine four years of questionable choices into one final, poorly documented catastrophe.
No refunds→
The Careless Method™
No plan.
Just brand.
“Education is the careful cultivation of the mind. We got bored halfway through that sentence.”
At Careless University, we believe every avoidable mistake is a teachable moment, provided someone else pays for it.
Dean ViosCEO, Warden & Brand Ambassador
Distinguished-ish faculty
Learn from the barely qualified.
Our educators bring decades of combined experience, most of it unrelated to the subjects they teach.
NS
FB
Fall admissions · Why not
Your future is someone else’s problem.
Applications are reviewed in the order we notice them. No essays. No transcripts. Very few follow-up questions.